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memoir (the voice memos)

by Maddi Sullivan

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Marc Blanc
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Marc Blanc Wow. The range of emotion she can express with her voice is amazing. Favorite track: may 18th.
Jeff Allen
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Jeff Allen Maddi Sullivan's "memoir (the voice memos)" is a stunning and raw album that bears her soul through deeply personal reflections, showcasing her ability to overcome heartbreak with a sense of hope and resilience, and a unique voice and style that stands out on its own, making it a must-listen for anyone who appreciates raw and honest music that speaks directly to the heart. Favorite track: lightning.
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1.
michigan 05:00
I remember driving through Michigan in the middle of the night you dreamed with me about all the things we thought we wanted from this life but there's not enough whiskey in all of Traverse City to erase the things that you promised we would be now I drink alone at home, wondering where do I go from here? take me on a trip to easy moments 'cause I need to get away from hazy recollections I have never been the kind who gets back what I give I'd waste all of my days loving you, and that's no way to live I remember the way it felt to have you closer than my skin somewhere I knew that no matter what I did, you'd never let me in but there's not enough whiskey in all of Traverse City to make me brave enough to see that you were fooling me now I lay awake at night, wondering why I feel so empty take me on a trip to easy moments 'cause I need to get away from hazy recollections I have never been the kind who gets back what I give I'd waste all of my days loving you, and that's no way to live I'd climb the mountains, baby for a taste of your devotion I would've crossed the raging seas what good are vows if you know you'll never keep them? you wrecked my heart with no remorse, now I'm the one that's broken so take me back to Michigan so I can tell my younger self not to fall in love with a man who only wants somebody else circle the drain just waiting for you to come around who would've thought that your silence would be such a haunted sound? take me on a trip to easy moments 'cause I need to get away from hazy recollections I have never been the kind who gets back what I give I'd waste all of my days loving you, and that's no way to live
2.
may 18th 03:49
I didn't know I'd end up here, crushed underneath my greatest fears it's all so quiet now, show me the way out cover my ache in weed and beer, tell my own soul to cease and sear the wind blowing all around, deafened by the sound take my hand right now and tell me that you're never gonna leave promise me you'll mean the things you say on May 18th kiss me like you mean it, I'll do my best to be your queen oh the things we could have seen I guess it was a fever dream I guess it was a fantasy too good, too soon, couldn't be you and me I guess I never could have seen the way you didn't look at me I guess it wasn't meant to be too bad, you left, but I set myself free I didn't know I'd end up here, feeling so distant yet so near it's all in color now I am alive somehow wrap me up in warm bed sheets show me the way up off my knees my head lives in the clouds I am so very proud take my hand right now and tell me that you're gonna let me bleed hold on hoping that there's good to overcome your greed walk out like you mean it, but now I am everything I need I know it was a fever dream I know it was a fantasy too good, too soon, couldn't be you and me I know I never could have seen the way you didn't look at me I know it wasn't meant to be too bad, you left, but I set myself free I set myself free.
3.
dreamland 03:45
you can keep your badge of honor, you know it can't be salvaged you don't get to make yourself a goner there's no glory in the wreckage, no but you wouldn't know don't ask me how I'm doing you know I'm in still in ruins you don't get to know what's on my mind lost that privilege when you ran from life but where did you go? the lines have fallen in unfortunate places wonder why you won't make space for me I could've been your dream leave my things out on the sidewalk leave the doors to our old home locked I don't wanna know how you've forgotten how you let go while I kept holding on the lines have fallen in unfortunate places wonder why you won't make space for me I could've been your dream you knew my eyes could see your soul so you told me I'm not beautiful but I'm much wiser so much wiser now.
4.
lightning 03:56
I am not the woman I used to be I know what it feels like to break and bleed you can't touch me, I'm an island at sea I am lightning incarnate, don't test me I am water that crashes and breaks at shore I'm not a victim who's drowning, not anymore you can't slay me, I am ivy on the door I am wind in the branches, no I am not yours I am flames in the darkness, I'll keep you warm I am sweet liberation, I've been reborn you can't break me, I am already torn I'm no one's for the taking, I am my own
5.
performer 03:18
when I met you, I wasn't me eclipsed in what I thought I should be but that only lasts for so long I called you lover, I called you friend that was the beginning of the end a resilient heart must go on I'm the kind of person that always says sorry first the kind of woman that holds on to your words and I never told you that you fucked me over, but I'll do that now I'm the kind of person that knows who she really is nothing will stop me from this metamorphosis I never told you that you haven't seen the best of me yet when I met severance, I was the glue that held myself together and away from you I didn't know I was so strong I ripped the paper, I poured the poison down the drain with all my choices all the while I'm thinking "good riddance" I'm the kind of person that always says sorry first the kind of woman that holds on to your words and I never told you that you fucked me over, but I'll do that now I'm the kind of person that knows who she really is nothing will stop me from this metamorphosis I never told you that you haven't seen the best of me yet and you lost that chance, good luck with that I hope you find everything you're looking for I'm not your performer anymore you don't even know who you let go I hope you never come to your senses you might lose your mind, wishing you were still mine when I met me, I didn't know there were such great heights beyond my lowest lows but I'll never doubt myself again I found the answer in blurry lines I wasn't burned up in that fire and I have no more regrets
6.
serotonin 03:24
I spilled three drinks tonight but I told you I'm fine there's just an aching you don't see behind my eyes I thought I'd call you up I know I should be tough there's just this part of me that still thinks I miss you and so I drink a little, smoke a little, and laugh a little more until I cry a little, lie a little, til I know what I'm living for restoration is making its voyage to me and I know I will see it soon I'm on my strongest shit, getting through the thick of it you know I'll do anything for serotonin and so I drink a little, smoke a little, and laugh a little more until I cry a little, lie a little, til I know what I'm living for restoration is making its voyage to me and I know I will see it soon look at me drunk on the floor in the club dancing all this darkness away I don't know how much more I can take I'm a walking, crying disaster navigating a quiet and strange life "after" tell me this sadness isn't here to stay I fell so hard and quick I'll make my peace with it there's nowhere else to go but straight ahead but for now I drink a little, smoke a little, and laugh a little more until I cry a little, lie a little, til I know what I'm living for restoration is making its voyage to me and I know I will see it soon
7.
tell me is this redemption wrapped up in blankets is this reclamation one picture at a time hanging up on the walls I can't control it just hope that it's coming to take back what you stole, and put to rest my ghosts you're gonna make it out alive you're gonna make it out just fine tell me is it still winning when I'm the one weeping it's not what I pictured in all of my nightmares screaming into the darkness "somebody see me" I hope it gets better I hope they're right about time you're gonna make it out alive you're gonna make it out just fine tell me when is the healing the moment of mending when the breathing is easy I want to find forward I know that it's coming there's no other option so onward I'll go, a one woman show this is the story of how I survived this is a song for every shattered heart I thought I lost myself but I'm still fucking standing screaming to the ends of the earth, they're right about time.
8.
25 03:25
I've never been a natural I've never been the type to let the past pass, and send all my best to you can you hear it? the silence speaks volumes make peace with your demons, and soon enough they leave you got the devil on my right, and the saint on my left you know how hard I try, you know I do my best it's a two-way street, you can't fake it with me show me your hand I'll show you my dreams it shouldn't surprise me I've changed but I haven't I'm still just a kid and a hopeless romantic we bleed, but we make it can't seem to escape it just try to make sense of this tangled existence got the devil on my right, and the saint on my left you know how hard I try, you know I do my best it's a two-way street, you can't fake it with me show me your hand and I'll show you my dreams fall madly in love but you fall out of touch you fight to be free but then you feel stuck I was down on my luck but I was too scared to jump I got knocked down but I got back up.

about

"Memoir" is a collection of songs I wrote as I navigated the most gutting heartbreak of my life. There were many times where creating art out of the pain was my only real solace, and the only way I knew how to spin it into gold. These songs are my heart, my story, and my pride. I truly appreciate whoever wants to listen to them, and I hope that they can resonate with you as well.

I hope that one day, I can fully realize my artistic vision for these songs and produce them for real, but for now, here is the voice memos edition. Thank you for listening!

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released February 24, 2023

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Maddi Sullivan St. Louis, Missouri

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