1. |
michigan
05:00
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I remember driving through Michigan in the middle of the night
you dreamed with me about all the things we thought we wanted from this life
but there's not enough whiskey in all of Traverse City
to erase the things that you promised we would be
now I drink alone at home, wondering where do I go from here?
take me on a trip to easy moments
'cause I need to get away from hazy recollections
I have never been the kind who gets back what I give
I'd waste all of my days loving you,
and that's no way to live
I remember the way it felt to have you closer than my skin
somewhere I knew that no matter what I did, you'd never let me in
but there's not enough whiskey in all of Traverse City
to make me brave enough to see that you were fooling me
now I lay awake at night, wondering why I feel so empty
take me on a trip to easy moments
'cause I need to get away from hazy recollections
I have never been the kind who gets back what I give
I'd waste all of my days loving you,
and that's no way to live
I'd climb the mountains, baby
for a taste of your devotion I would've crossed the raging seas
what good are vows if you know you'll never keep them?
you wrecked my heart with no remorse, now I'm the one that's broken
so take me back to Michigan so I can tell my younger self
not to fall in love with a man who only wants somebody else
circle the drain just waiting for you to come around
who would've thought that your silence would be such a haunted sound?
take me on a trip to easy moments
'cause I need to get away from hazy recollections
I have never been the kind who gets back what I give
I'd waste all of my days loving you,
and that's no way to live
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2. |
may 18th
03:49
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I didn't know I'd end up here,
crushed underneath my greatest fears
it's all so quiet now,
show me the way out
cover my ache in weed and beer,
tell my own soul to cease and sear
the wind blowing all around,
deafened by the sound
take my hand right now and tell me that you're never gonna leave
promise me you'll mean the things you say on May 18th
kiss me like you mean it,
I'll do my best to be your queen
oh the things we could have seen
I guess it was a fever dream
I guess it was a fantasy
too good, too soon, couldn't be you and me
I guess I never could have seen
the way you didn't look at me
I guess it wasn't meant to be
too bad, you left, but I set myself free
I didn't know I'd end up here,
feeling so distant yet so near
it's all in color now
I am alive somehow
wrap me up in warm bed sheets
show me the way up off my knees
my head lives in the clouds
I am so very proud
take my hand right now and tell me that you're gonna let me bleed
hold on hoping that there's good to overcome your greed
walk out like you mean it, but now I am everything I need
I know it was a fever dream
I know it was a fantasy
too good, too soon, couldn't be you and me
I know I never could have seen
the way you didn't look at me
I know it wasn't meant to be
too bad, you left, but I set myself free
I set myself free.
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3. |
dreamland
03:45
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you can keep your badge of honor,
you know it can't be salvaged
you don't get to make yourself a goner
there's no glory in the wreckage, no
but you wouldn't know
don't ask me how I'm doing
you know I'm in still in ruins
you don't get to know what's on my mind
lost that privilege when you ran from life
but where did you go?
the lines have fallen in unfortunate places
wonder why you won't make space for me
I could've been your dream
leave my things out on the sidewalk
leave the doors to our old home locked
I don't wanna know how you've forgotten
how you let go while I kept holding on
the lines have fallen in unfortunate places
wonder why you won't make space for me
I could've been your dream
you knew my eyes could see your soul
so you told me I'm not beautiful
but I'm much wiser
so much wiser now.
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4. |
lightning
03:56
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I am not the woman I used to be
I know what it feels like to break and bleed
you can't touch me, I'm an island at sea
I am lightning incarnate, don't test me
I am water that crashes and breaks at shore
I'm not a victim who's drowning, not anymore
you can't slay me, I am ivy on the door
I am wind in the branches, no I am not yours
I am flames in the darkness, I'll keep you warm
I am sweet liberation, I've been reborn
you can't break me, I am already torn
I'm no one's for the taking, I am my own
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5. |
performer
03:18
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when I met you, I wasn't me
eclipsed in what I thought I should be
but that only lasts for so long
I called you lover, I called you friend
that was the beginning of the end
a resilient heart must go on
I'm the kind of person that always says sorry first
the kind of woman that holds on to your words
and I never told you that you fucked me over, but I'll do that now
I'm the kind of person that knows who she really is
nothing will stop me from this metamorphosis
I never told you that you haven't seen the best of me yet
when I met severance, I was the glue
that held myself together and away from you
I didn't know I was so strong
I ripped the paper, I poured the poison
down the drain with all my choices
all the while I'm thinking "good riddance"
I'm the kind of person that always says sorry first
the kind of woman that holds on to your words
and I never told you that you fucked me over, but I'll do that now
I'm the kind of person that knows who she really is
nothing will stop me from this metamorphosis
I never told you that you haven't seen the best of me yet
and you lost that chance,
good luck with that
I hope you find everything you're looking for
I'm not your performer anymore
you don't even know who you let go
I hope you never come to your senses
you might lose your mind, wishing you were still mine
when I met me, I didn't know
there were such great heights beyond my lowest lows
but I'll never doubt myself again
I found the answer in blurry lines
I wasn't burned up in that fire
and I have no more regrets
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6. |
serotonin
03:24
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I spilled three drinks tonight
but I told you I'm fine
there's just an aching you don't see behind my eyes
I thought I'd call you up
I know I should be tough
there's just this part of me that still thinks I miss you
and so I drink a little,
smoke a little,
and laugh a little more
until I cry a little,
lie a little,
til I know what I'm living for
restoration is making its voyage to me
and I know I will see it soon
I'm on my strongest shit,
getting through the thick of it
you know I'll do anything for serotonin
and so I drink a little,
smoke a little,
and laugh a little more
until I cry a little,
lie a little,
til I know what I'm living for
restoration is making its voyage to me
and I know I will see it soon
look at me drunk on the floor in the club
dancing all this darkness away
I don't know how much more I can take
I'm a walking, crying disaster
navigating a quiet and strange life "after"
tell me this sadness isn't here to stay
I fell so hard and quick
I'll make my peace with it
there's nowhere else to go
but straight ahead
but for now I drink a little,
smoke a little,
and laugh a little more
until I cry a little,
lie a little,
til I know what I'm living for
restoration is making its voyage to me
and I know I will see it soon
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7. |
one woman show
04:07
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tell me is this redemption
wrapped up in blankets
is this reclamation
one picture at a time hanging up on the walls
I can't control it
just hope that it's coming
to take back what you stole, and put to rest my ghosts
you're gonna make it out alive
you're gonna make it out just fine
tell me is it still winning
when I'm the one weeping
it's not what I pictured
in all of my nightmares
screaming into the darkness
"somebody see me"
I hope it gets better
I hope they're right about time
you're gonna make it out alive
you're gonna make it out just fine
tell me when is the healing
the moment of mending
when the breathing is easy
I want to find forward
I know that it's coming
there's no other option
so onward I'll go,
a one woman show
this is the story of how I survived
this is a song for every shattered heart
I thought I lost myself
but I'm still fucking standing
screaming to the ends of the earth,
they're right about time.
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8. |
25
03:25
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I've never been a natural
I've never been the type to
let the past pass, and send all my best to you
can you hear it?
the silence speaks volumes
make peace with your demons,
and soon enough they leave you
got the devil on my right,
and the saint on my left
you know how hard I try,
you know I do my best
it's a two-way street,
you can't fake it with me
show me your hand
I'll show you my dreams
it shouldn't surprise me
I've changed but I haven't
I'm still just a kid
and a hopeless romantic
we bleed, but we make it
can't seem to escape it
just try to make sense of this tangled existence
got the devil on my right,
and the saint on my left
you know how hard I try,
you know I do my best
it's a two-way street,
you can't fake it with me
show me your hand
and I'll show you my dreams
fall madly in love
but you fall out of touch
you fight to be free
but then you feel stuck
I was down on my luck
but I was too scared to jump
I got knocked down
but I got back up.
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Maddi Sullivan St. Louis, Missouri
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